Sunday, August 25, 2013

A Butterfly of Great Worth

This summer I was at a family reunion when a really pretty butterfly landed on me 4 different times. I've always admired the beauty of butterflies and thought it to be amazing that such a beautiful creature would land on me. It's been a few months now but my mind keeps wandering back to the beauty and amazement of that moment.  Some believe when a butterfly lands on you it is seen as a positive sign of changes that one is going through. It symbolizes renewal or rebirth that comes from the way that butterflies transform in one lifetime. I really grasped onto that, almost as if it were meant for me as a divorced single mother of 3. My life hasn't been easy and correct me if I'm wrong but I've never met a person whose life has been an easy stroll in the park. we are all human, we all make mistakes, we all have things happen to us that are beyond our control. I have been a single, full time working mother for a year now. I wed at 19, was married for 8 years and divorced at 27. It has been quite the learning experience. this last year, since I've been on my own, I have changed and learn and grown more than I ever thought possible. It has been hard and I have struggled but it has molded and shaped me. Everyone is here for a reason, everyone has their own struggles, everyone has their own story to tell. No matter what it is, no matter what you've had to endure, the battles you've had to fight or the darkness you've had to walk through. I want you to do something for me. I want you to put your hand on your chest. You feel that? maybe you feel breath or a heartbeat. THAT, my friend, is life! You are here for a purpose. Have you ever found an old beat up quarter? We pick that quarter up, we keep it,  we value it. Why? Because even though it might be rusted, dented or battered it is still worth the same value it was meant to be when it was created, when it was shiny and new. Regardless of the circumstances you were born into, you were priceless and irreplaceable when you were born and when you die you will still be priceless and irreplaceable. Sure you have bruises, scars, fears, pain...you have acquired "dents" just like that old battered quarter but you are still worth your same priceless, irreplaceable value you were when you were created! When I was 26 and in my seventh year of marriage we moved to Hawaii. We sold all our belongings, what we couldn't sell we gave away and what was left we stored in about 20 plastic tubs. We were in Hawaii for 6 months when my marriage ended. My only option was to move back home to Idaho. So I packed what little we owned into 4 suitcases and made the journey home as a single mother back to nothing except what little I owned in those 20 plastic tubs. I had no savings, no furniture and no job. But I knew I could do it! I lived with my mom and step dad for 2 and a half months till I could afford to live on my own. Meanwhile, thrift shopping for clothes, furniture and things I needed to live on my own. We were blessed with some generous donations in which we are so grateful for! I had kept up on my Cosmetology license and found a job doing hair in a salon. Here I am, a year later. At times it still seems surreal but I did it and I'm still doing it! I have hard days when I cry, I still hate sleeping alone and I wish there were more of me to go around. But in losing my marriage and having someone close to me have a terminal illness I have come to know that life can change in the blink of an eye. I have everything I want because I have everything I need. I have food on the table, a job, a place to live and a car to drive. None of it is fancy or nice but it gets the job done and I couldn't ask for more. But ultimately above all the rest I have my children! They are the reason I live. They are my saving grace. They make me laugh, love me forgive me and teach me. As we live life and acquire "dents"we are changing, we are evolving much like a butterfly. As children we are like a caterpillar in the beginning stages of our evolvement. then, as we grow older we make choices and we endure many things. I believe everything happens for a reason and there is something to learn in every situation. Somewhere along the way you can choose to "cocoon" up.  You take your different life experiences and you can allow them to change you. When we do this we meta morph and our experiences are what makes our wings so beautiful. Each experience adds a splash of color till we've created our own pair of wings and we are ready to break out of our cocoon. But you must know that it is essential for a butterfly to break out of it's cocoon with out any help or it will die. You see, the butterfly flaps it's wings as it's breaking out of the cocoon. As it is doing so it is strengthening the muscles it need to survive. When you break out of your "cocoon" remember that you and only you can let your life experiences mold you and give you the strength you need to let your wings spread and take you to places of magical wonder.you are in control of your destiny. You are you, you are unique! Don't live for another year mark or the next birthday, holiday or anniversary. Step back and don't just live life but absorb life and this beautiful world in which we live. Everyday there is a reason you get out of bed, there are lessons to learn and memories to be made. Make every day count and absorb the joyous wonders of this life. Stand above the rest even if you stand alone,shine and make a difference! You are priceless and irreplaceable. Now spread  your wings and let them take you to places of magical wonder and beauty!

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